The Polite Dutchman: Success

Every once in a while there is something about Dutch culture that I appreciate. One of those things is their alternative to saying “good luck.” The phrase “good luck” has always seemed underwhelming but I used it for lack of a better alternative. To me it implies a lack of confidence because you need luck to succeed. The Dutch have a much more supportive way of communicating their best wishes in such circumstances:

“I’m about to give a big presentation.”
“Success.”

“I have an exam tomorrow.”
“Success!”

“I’m going to do some repairs on my bicycle this weekend.”
“Success.”

It feels so much more positive and sincere than “good luck.” So with that, I wish you all success in your next endeavors, whatever they may be.

And now I’m off to Amsterdam to meet my next set of American visitors!

Brighter living

Nancy got her official company biking outfit yesterday:

Donning spandex and hopping on an expensive bike appears to be the national Sunday activity – now Nancy can join the fietscultur.

-Hendrik

The Polite Dutchman: Asking for Something

In order to illustrate how Dutch people view asking for something you want, I will give an example of how the American style of things confuses them.

The scene: I am at lunch with my coworkers. There are a few Americans (me and Michelle) and a few Dutch people. I am eating a large plate of fries. About halfway through lunch, this conversation occurs:

Michelle: Mmm, those fries look really good.
Me: They are. (Pause) Would you like one?
Michelle: Yes please! (Takes a fry and eats it.)
Dutch Peter: (Looking rather confused) But if you wanted a fry, why didn’t you just ask for one?
Me and Michelle: (looking even more confused, simultaneously) She did/I did!
Dutch Peter: (now thoroughly confused) Huh?

Subtlety and nuance seem lost on them. This must be where they get their reputation for rudeness and directness.

The Cycling Dutchman

In order to brighten the mood, I will also have a series of posts about Dutch people and their mad cycling skills.

The Cycling Dutchman: Soccer Balls

The other day, I saw a kid riding along while bouncing a soccer ball next to him. Impressive move kid! Can’t get more Dutch than cycling + football.

The Polite Dutchman

I’ve had a difficult time adjusting to Dutch culture but I have had a hard time explaining why in a succinct way. Instead, I will write a series of posts called “The Polite Dutchman” to try to explain.

Today we have: The Polite Dutchman: Correspondence

When I was first getting started at work, I had to write a lot of emails to people with applications, requests for access, etc. I also had to fill out government forms and paperwork. Inevitably, I did it all wrong. I was always perturbed and perplexed by the replies. The standard response went something like this:

Dear Nancy,

I see that you have tried to do/sign up for/apply for x. The instructions said to do y. Instead you did z.

You should fix y so it is z.

I hope you have been sufficiently informed.

Kind regards,
A Dutch Person

This always came across as too formal and critical although not entirely unhelpful. Now I realize that in Dutch culture, this really is the equivalent of:

Dear Nancy,

Thank you for trying to to do/sign up for/apply for x. Unfortunately you have made a mistake and done y instead of z. If you could go ahead and fix it so y is z, we will be happy to continue helping you in this process.

Please do not hesitate to contact us if you have any questions.

Best regards,
American Customer Service

I will always miss the American way of handling this but at least now I know they do this to everyone, not just me and they aren’t intentionally being rude.

Howth, Ireland

On Sunday we went on a hiking tour to Howth on a peninsula near Dublin. We learned about leprechauns and fairy stories, saw a castle, an old Irish golf course, and seals. We tried to find puffins as we walked along the cliffs, but no luck. Interestingly, we did see an island that has a wallaby colony.

That night we went on an Irish literature pub crawl and saw actors perform scenes from Irish plays and read excerpts from letters and books.

Dublin, Ireland

I just spent a long weekend in Ireland where I met up with my sister and her friend Sara as well as my friend Michelle and her sister. We had a lovely time exploring Dublin and learning about Irish history and culture.

We also drank some Guinness in the Temple Bar District (see Amy dressed as a sheep) and saw the Book of Kells and the Trinity College Library.

It was Amy’s last stop before heading back to the US after 6 months of traveling around the world. She went to New Zealand, Australia, Singapore, Thailand, the Netherlands, Belgium, Germany, Spain, Morocco, Switzerland, the Czech Republic, Austria, Italy, Greece, France, the UK, and Ireland (hopefully I didn’t forget any). I find it interesting that 2015 is quite a year of traveling for both of us but we took completely different approaches. I found a job abroad with lots of vacation time and used that as a foundation for my travels in Europe. Meanwhile she jumped in head first and traveled full time around the world, visiting four continents. I am rather envious of her free-spirited, whole-hearted approach. I am also proud of her courage and determination; she did most of the traveling alone. Here’s to traveling together in Europe again next year when she can travel in the EU on a tourist visa again (she used up all 90 days this time) and when I have more vacation days again (I’ve nearly used them all up traveling too).

Mispronunciations

Here are a few more anecdotes about my attempts to speak Dutch.

I think I have mentioned before that it is next to impossible to get tap water at restaurants. At this point I have basically given up and resigned myself to ordering bottled water which literally costs about the same as beer per unit volume. It is slightly cheaper to order a large bottle for the table than individual bottles. Thus, I was attempting to say the phrase, “een grote fles water, alstublieft.” Unfortunately, I mispronounced “fles” as “flees,” which sounds like “vlees,” so instead of ordering a large bottle of water, I ordered a large flesh (or meat) of water. Oops.

One of the hardest Dutch vowels for me to say is “uu.” This makes it tricky when I try to say the word for “rent,” as in “to rent a car.” Instead of “ik huur een auto,” It sounds like I am saying “ik hoer een auto.” Unfortunately this means “I whore a car,” which isn’t really what I’m going for. On the way home from Dutch lessons one day, I decided to practice pronouncing the difference between the two words so I walked along saying “huur, hoer, huur, hoer,” until I realized I was walking down the street saying, “rent, whore, rent, whore.” I wonder what the other pedestrians thought. Oops.

My Dutch teacher taught us a very useful phrase: “sorry, mijn Nederlands is niet zo goed.” It means “sorry, my Dutch is not so good,” and it will get you out of almost any situation while somehow extracting the maximum level of kindness from within the Dutch soul. Unfortunately last night at dinner it backfired. Hendrik of course started out in Dutch with the waiter. When the waiter started asking me questions in Dutch, I got confused and used my go-to phrase. However, since we were at a Belgian restaurant, the waiter’s native language was actually Flemish and not Dutch. He responded by saying, “neither is mine. We will have to help each other,” first in Flemish and then repeated in English. I gave him a confused smile. About halfway through dinner, I figured out the nuances of what had actually happened during that conversation and laughed on and off for the rest of dinner. Flemish people take pride in distinguishing their language from Dutch and so what he said was actually quite funny in context. I’m glad Belgians are nice and he had a good sense of humor about it instead of being offended.

I seem to be a real expert at mispronouncing just the right words to accidentally curse during Dutch lessons. I have also managed to say “teven (bitches)” instead of “tegen (against)” and “konten (asses)” instead of “konden (could)”, and perhaps you recall the “ear-penis” incident from a previous post. Maybe I should just have someone teach me all of the swears in the name of avoiding these mishaps. At least if I know what they are I can’t keep saying them accidentally.

-Nancy

Vier jaar trouwdag

Today is our fourth wedding anniversary! If you had asked us back when we got married, we never would have guessed that we’d be spending it in the Netherlands. I guess that’s what happens when we snatch crazy opportunities and opt for adventure. Tonight we are going on an anniversary date to a Belgian restaurant. We’ve been meaning to try the food there for a while and since it is restaurant week here, they have a nice three course dinner for only 25 euros a person. I hope the perfect timing of restaurant week (Maastricht aan Tafel) works out next year too.

At this point we are over halfway through with our summer visitors with 6 groups down and 4 more to go. It has made for a crazy summer but is keeping us from getting homesick!

Hendrik has a job interview tomorrow with a mysterious new company that runs a three year training program for people with technical PhDs who want to work in industry but it is totally unclear what they actually do. Hopefully it isn’t a weird Dutch cult. We’ll see how it goes.

-Nancy

Thunderstorm

We woke up to the treat of a rare thunderstorm this morning. Although it rains often here, there is rarely thunder and lightning. Conveniently there was even a lull in the rain for my bike commute. Come to think of it, I shouldn’t say that to any Dutch people because “lull” sounds like “lul” which is a vulgar Dutch word for “penis.” I learned this the hard way during Dutch lessons when I was trying to say “oorlel (ear lobe)”and said “oorlul” instead. My Dutch teacher giggled. I will never manage to learn this language, but at least I am starting to adapt to the strange weather patterns.

-Nancy